Jason Permenter

whileyouweresleeping:

Here is a non-exhaustive list of idiotic job titles that were funny for about five minutes, have turned into sad clichés and, when they appear on a business card, make me quietly cringe at the person handing it to me and the organization they work for:

• Product “Evangelist”
• Productivity “Guru”
• Social Media “Champion”
• Tonsorial “Artist” (a hairstylist)
• Brand “Ambassador” (unless you are, in fact, a diplomat, or lend your face to UNICEF)
• Community “Rockstar”
• [repeat cycle] Brand “Missionary”
• Social Media “Expert”
• Online Presence “Optimizer”
• Virtual Word Developer
• Idea Inventor

None of these are funny. None of these are cute. None of these are creative. None of these are even, as you like to tell yourself, ironic. They are imbecilic and embarrassing to you, the company you represent, and those who have to do business with you. If you can unapologetically describe yourself as any of those things, please be aware that a great number of people in the real world will roll their eyes at you, at best, and at worst, not take you seriously, ever.

For your information, the Brits have much more accurate names for you, which you should feel free to use as titles instead. Here’s a quick selection, off the top of my head: fuck off, you self-important, tosser, wanker, twat.

— From SF, thanking you for your attention.

Quick question. Has anybody else noticed that my wife has incredibly strong points of view and rants like a tornado blowing through a trailer park? I blame The Economist and all that foie gras.