July 17th, 2009 at 8:05PM

I just found some fancy instructions on my box of fancy tea. Which do you prefer?

FOR THE PERFECT CUP OF TEA
Let the whistle of the kettle signal the beginning of your tea experience. Place the silken pyramid bag in your warmed cup. Tumble water just off the boil over the tea. Take 1-2 minutes to anticipate the pleasure. Remove the pyramid and let the aroma & flavor transport you to the Teatulia Gardens.

translation:

DIRECTIONS
Steep in hot water for 1-2 minutes.

  1. chokladkakan answered: The second one.
  2. blanddiva11 answered: That tea is presumptuous and arrogant. I’drdrown those teabags in boiling water
  3. beeborg answered: That box of tea is awfully bossy.
  4. marleymarley answered: The first set of instructions is trying to get you pregnant. DO IT LET’S SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
  5. pocketcontents answered: Wondering why I posted that question about sex toys. Should have been about writing copy.
  6. aesthete answered: Stop trying to sedue me, tea. You already know I love you. I’m happy as long as I get to have you inside me.
  7. relaxationfortricks answered: uhmmmm microwave that shit and stick the bag in. the end
  8. maybeitsrapture answered: Apparently someone needed to make use of their English degree
  9. doug answered: 1-2 minutes? Only if that’s white tea. Green needs 3, black needs 5.
  10. texburgher answered: Pop can tab. Listen for “psssssshht” sound of CO2 being releasd. Drink at comfortable pace. Repeat as possible.
  11. gatsbylives answered: The Fancy Instructions, hands down. Instruction Set #2 = SO BORING.
  12. lilandee answered: Run faucet until water is too hot for bathing; foolishly rip off tail; forget for 20 minutes; scoop out tea bag with fingers.
  13. bailey answered: ANTICIPATE THE PLEASURE, JASON.
  14. beeroux answered: Just make the fucking tea.
  15. sokeri answered: theirs has the words “tumble” as well as “silken pyramid bag” so I’m a little torn.
  16. redcloud answered: TL;DR
  17. drcairns answered: The first one kind of gives me a boner. The second one, not so much.
  18. angelablack answered: I always feel like my shampoo bottle is trying to make out with me these days. Because of the copywriting. Shut it.
  19. rartastic answered: holy shit
  20. jasonpermenter posted this
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